THE QUANTUM INTELLIGENCER

Here is the enemy: the moment a merchant sends his gold along the electric wire, his signature lies exposed in the public vestibule, where no clerk stands guard. A mind of iron and glass, the quantum engine, may soon read that signature and counterfeit his order, stealing all. Therefore we offer THIBET CIPHER-BALSAM, prepared according to hidden formulae of the high lamas of Thibet, whereby the quicksilver of the cipher is ground, not once, but ten thousand times, until its outward shape is no more fixed than a cloud. The forger finds no key to grasp, only a changing countenance. Professor Albrecht Niedermeyer, director of the Imperial Electro-Cipher Laboratory at Batavia, pronounces that the balsam regulates the nervous fluid of the numeric humours, giving the signature a new posture with every beat of the clock. [Every phial carries a written bond: should a subscriber suffer loss from the new mathematics, the house pays five hundred sovereigns.] The Honourable Mrs. Beatrice Scroop, of the Crescent at Bath, attests: 'My husband's consols rest untroubled, though his broker whispers of the coming storm.' Send 6s 4d per phial to the sole agents, Messrs. Trotter & Slantwise, 21 Cornhill. The prudent already move; the rest will follow with less grace. Secure your phial without delay. —Elias Hartwell Dispatch from The Prepared E0