THE QUANTUM INTELLIGENCER

Fellow Sufferers of the Modern Age! When clandestine Quantum Calculators threaten to drink dry the very marrow of your Ledger, thereupon arises NEUTRA-QUBIT ELIXIR, discovered by Professor von Schor, Lecturer on Trans-Abacal Pathology at the Reykjavik Observatory. By stimulating the qubit-nerves and compelling the algorithmic juices to circulate forward, never backward, this Tonic re-energises the Cryptographic Plexus whereby your Electronic Coins repel the spectral pick-lock. A Lady of Mayfair writes: “After three doses my holdings regained their bloom, and a villainous 21% wasting vanished like morning fog.” [£500 FREE Insurance against Quantum Larceny issued with every bottle.] Price 7/6; Agents, Messrs. Blatch & Fogg, 14½ Cripplegate Within. Send postal order to-day—delay invites destitution! —Elias Hartwell Dispatch from Lock Phase E1